Eye Queue

June 12, 2008 by  
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Can older women be attracted to a younger guy?

What is a good way to know if in public i.e a restaurant, queue or bar that an older woman (40's upwards) finds a younger tall man in his 20's attractive?

Will she eye him up or stare at him?

It is possible for them to find young guys attractive, so what could it be?

Looking for as much answers as possible and best sensible answer gets 10 points via "best answer."

Thanks

I'm currently dying over a gorgeous boy, he's half my age. I'm married, can't do anything about it, but I do stare at him a lot. Too petrified to even talk to him, though, to see if he's even attracted to me as what's the likelihood he'd find me attractive and not just old? Some young guys would never give an older gal a chance. Best way to know if someone is attracted to you is go up and talk to them, start a casual, friendly conversation and see if it goes anywhere. You'll know pretty fast. An older woman might never assume you'd give her the time of day, even if she's attractive.

The Philippines Through the Eyes of a Filipina

I received a copy of 'The Philippines Through the Eyes of a Foreigner' through an email last June 2007. Why did I not react then? First, I did not have my own blog yet. Second, and more importantly, I did not see the need to do so as it was one man's sentiment and there was some truth to it. So why am I reacting now? Well, yesterday as I was sorting out my email I chance upon the letter again and then later on as I was doing some research on Filipino culture I chance upon the same essay. This time though, I was surprised to see a lot of reactions from my kababayans, ranging from defensive to violent rections. Why be so harsh on the guy when he is merely voicing out his sentiments as he is entitled to in the first place.

Although there are some truths in his essay, there are also some overstatements.

Let me start with the sad truths:

1. Yes, it is true that we do have streets lined with street people, beggars and squatters.

But, let me remind you that those people did not dominate our sidestreets overnight.

Once upon a time, those people used to live happily in the rural areas. Then one day, a politician named Mr. Trapo arrives in a shiny limo and promises them the sun, the moon and the stars. But there is a catch, they have to go to his town to help him win elections by becoming 'flying voters'. They were pledged mammoth promises, given a few measly bucks and picked up by huge Sarao jeepneys bound for Zion. After Mr. Trapo wins his election, he leaves all the necessitous folk behind. With their families still with them, hungry, broke and exhausted, where do they go now? With very little money left from Mr. Trapo, they begin building shanties along the sidestreets. And the rest as they say is history........

2. Yes, it is true that our roads are cursed with pollution and our public utility vehicles are in disreputable states of repair. Yes, we have streets full of potholes and unrepaired streets.

Then one day, after Mr. Trapo is sworn into office, he becomes Congressman Trapo. He decrees that the roads be repaired and lined with asphalt. Since he has the power to pick the contractor, he selects the one who offers him the most proceeds. And because the contractor has to give a huge chunk of his earnings to Congressman Trapo, he figures that to earn more he could probably gain more by using substandard materials. That explains the potholes.

Congressman Trapo runs for the Senate and wins. Senator Trapo is now even more jaded by all his power. He does not care (or he has been bribed enough) to overlook that the other government subsidiaries are allowing bus comapnies to import buses that are really old and dilapidated. So that explains the disintegrating vehicles and the pollution that comes with it.

3. Yes, it is true that our educational system allows children to attend schools without desks or books to accommodate them. Yes, it also true that teachers, even college professors, are paid salaries so disgracefully low that it's a wonder that anyone would want to go into the teaching profession in the first place.

Senator Trapo has his share of the The Pork Barrel, A.K.A. Pork, Countrywide Development Fund (CDF) or Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF). These are funds given to both members of the Senate and Congress, these are discretionary in nature so it is up to Senator Trapo to identify the projects that will be funded from these funds. Senators get P 200 million each while the congressmen are allotted about P 70 million each. To have something to show for, Senator Trapo builds small waiting sheds with a huge picture of his face and his name in large fonts to advertise what he has done. He forgets about the public schools that cannot accommodate half the school's population. Senator Trapo also needs more funds to help him in his re-election bid. He forgets about the teachers who, aside from a meager salary, work long, grueling hours.

There are a lot of Mr. Trapos all around us. He could very well be holding office at your Barangay Hall, the City Hall, the House of Representatives, the Senate, maybe even in Malacañang. Who knows?

There is no ending to my fairy (goblin) tale. The rest is up to you.

As for the overstatements, here's my take on that:

1. Filipinos do not worship, almost slavishly, everything foreign. Foreigners are not looked up to and idolized.

Filipinos are essentially warm, nurturing, and tolerant to a fault.

Do not mistake Filipino hospitality for worship. Having said that, it is but natural for Filipinos, even Asians in particular to be generous givers. Luxury goods, more often than not, imported brands flatter not just the giver but the receiver as well. Isn't that what it's about, status quo?

Case in point, last week my husband & I were in Greenhills for an errand. In case you don't know, it is a shopping mecca for everything faked or copied. We traverse the tiangges as I wanted to do some research on the demographics of people who patronize fakes. Surprise, surprise. In one corner, we saw 2 Americans (males) searching for an 'authentic looking fake' briefcase. We walk some more and more and we see 3 foriegners (they sounded British but I wasn't sure) looking for 'authentic looking fake' Mont Blanc pen. We walk a bit more and we see 2 foreigners (males) looking for 'authentic looking fake' Louis Vuitton bags for their girlfriends. Is that what character is to you? I'm not even making this up.

Allow me to spill another anecdote. A few months ago I was at Louis Vuitton in Greenbelt waiting for my purchase to be wrapped when I was approached by a man in his 60's (about my Dad's age) asking my impression on 4 LV bags laid out in front of him. He said he was having a hard time deciding which one to pick as an anniversary present for his wife and the SA(sales associate) wasn't much help. I gladly oblige. Mind you, he was Filipino, very simply and unostentastiously dressed. He didn't look like a fashion victim nor did he look uber rich. Maybe just like the rest of us, he appreciates a little luxury. Don't you think?

Even in HongKong, walk around and you'll see about 60% of the locals are carrying LV bags. Real ones, I'm sure. We went to all 3 stores and all of them were packed. In one store, we had to wait in a long queue just to get in. You wouldn't call them slaves to foreigners, would you?

2. Filipinos are not itching to leave the country.

It's just that sometimes, for some people, there seems to be no other choice.

Do you think our OFWs would still leave the country if they were given the same rate here as they are given abroad? Domestic helpers abroad are paid more than thrice over than what our teachers are paid here.

In the United States for instance, the minimum wage (average) is about $6.00 an hour. Did you know that that same amount is the minimum wage here BUT for a full day's labor? I hate it when I hear foreigners say, 'Oh, the gasoline prices here are the same as in the US' or whatever country. No matter how the numbers match, it's still not the same. No matter how our government rubs all sorts of figures on our faces, they mean nothing. Absolutely nothing. Why? Because we, the Filipinos, feel nothing. The government has nothing to offer. The jobs they claim to have are mediocre compared to what we as parents have to pay for in tuition fees. What jobs await U.P., Ateneo and La Salle graduates? Jobs at call centers?

To strive for something better is no shortcoming on our part. We will always strive for the best, not just for ourselves, but for our families and our nation.

The government claims that it is helping boost tourism in our country. How exactly?

When we went to Bangkok just a few weeks ago, I wanted to visit Siam Paragon. We could've walked as the mall was only about 5 kilometers from our hotel, I merely wanted to ride a tuk tuk so we hail one to take us there. Since the cab and tuk tuk drivers there understood very little English I brought a map, a picture of the mall and a copy of the exact address. About 15 minutes and many kilometers later, still no mall in sight. He brings us to a jewelry store, when we asked why, he said that he's bringing us there at no extra charge to us. It's just that everytime they bring in tourists, they get a coupon for free LPG (their petrol) from the government. We aren't under any obligation to buy, just come in for a visit. He then takes us to another shop (and thus my asthma was triggered by the stench of LPG). We ended up buying some goodies as he says he will get a small commission if we do so (yes, we were that gullible, but to us it was being helpful). Even during the temple tour, the tour guide told us that it was compulsory for them to bring tourists to particular spots. That is because their government encourages exactly that. Do you think the tricycle drivers here would get an incentive if they bring you to Luneta? I don't think so.

But what about tourism in the Philippines. My husband & I were surprised to see on a cable channel that some of our museums are still open. Note that it was on a cable channel and not even a local channel. Up until that moment we thought all our museums have closed down. Is that the government's definiton of 'boosting' tourism?

We are a free country. We are free people. We are entitled to our own opinion. In the same way that each of us is free to voice that opinion. If you'd want to block or edit everything negative you hear just to make it favorable to you, won't that be the start of censorship?

The reason behind my poking fun at Filipino drivers (in my blog) isn't to insult, ridicule or degrade them but maybe, just maybe with those little insights I could reach out to someone to do something about it, be it by doing better at it (it is a skill after all) or by at least implementing the laws that are there for a reason.

Hats off to Mr. Barth Suretsky. I do believe that it was in his best intention to put a little perspective into our culture and I take no offense whatsoever. I thank him for taking the time to analyze the things that somehow puzzle me as well.

To all foreigners, always remember this, we Filipinos have managed to unseat 2 presidents in the last 2 decades. It is my belief that we can do so again. It's just that at this point, there is no one person who could penetrate the system and not be spoiled by it. It will take time, discipline, and the will to change in each of us. Like I said, probably not in my lifetime. But soon, I hope.

I am a Filipino and I am proud to be one. I love my country and it is here that I will spend my old age until the rest of my days.

I hope you can say the same for yourselves.

About the Author

Chronicles of a Pinay Dreamer

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