Painting Book Oop

September 4, 2005 by  
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What are some common mistakes that great writers make that people always deny?

Someone pointed out that Tolkien loaded his works with way too many songs, often filling pages. I can agree that this is a mistake on his part and does not increase the effectiveness of his stories at all.

Any other writers that you can think of that make the same mistake over and over again?
Yes I have lol.

You've been browsing Cracked, haven't you?


I can think of a bunch of things I can criticize Tolkien about, but as soon as I do, everyone is like, "no no no! Tolkien created a world! You can't criticize him! He was a master of literature, he knew what he was doing and broke the rules of writing because he was good enough to and made it work better that way."
Alright, but created a world doesn't automatically make you the best writer ever. I mean, plenty of authors have done that. And after reading 167 pages of Fellowship of the Ring in which NOTHING HAPPENS, I say with confidence that Tolkien's constant description of weather and detailed description of the path the hobbits are NOT taking just pads the story with enormous amounts of unnecessary material.

The book basically goes like this:

"Alright, here's the story. One day, Bilbo Baggins was ... oop! Wait, we can't get to that because we need to spend a chapter detailing the history of his cousin's mother's aunt's granddaughter, describing everything along the way.... Okay. What? We were talking about Bilbo? Oh right, so he found this ring and his birthday was coming up and... Oh, hold on, we interrupt this story for an episode of Middle Earth's weather broadcast system. What do we have? A nice partly cloudy day... Okay, so then, Frodo came up to Gandalf, had a talk, and while we're at it, why not describe the texture of the walls and flooring? Oh, and the house has a nice garden out, with plenty of flowers.

So, after 80 pages that could have taken 20, Frodo, Pippin, and Sam finally make it out into the open and ... Oh, I'm so sorry! Where are my manners! Of course you want to hear all about each and every blade of grass and the weather of each and every day before we can get on with the narrative. Well, since you begged me for every detail, I guess I'll try and keep it down to about 10,000 pages or more.
So after ANOTHER 80 pages of traveling, the hobbits meet a man named Tom Bombaldil, who I put into this story for absolutely no reason at all. Oh and by the way, did you know that this forest they're in contains 100,000 acres of native sprucey-hobbit trees? It also contains....

So, after the hobbits said their goodbyes..."

And on and on and on and on, like that!!! For waaaaaaay too long.
Tolkien, not to be rude, ( I mean, you did inspire really cool movies, so thanks for that. ) but if I wanted to hear about every little insignificant detail, I'd be at an art museum, and if I wanted to hear about all your made up history that has nothing to do with the plot, I would have read the Middle Earth Atlas. I'm reading this because I want to read a freaking story!!!! And so far, it's been 80% history, singing, and painting, and 20% story.

No, scratch that, it's been 99.99% Singing, detailing, and history, and 0.01% story!!!

Lebron does not disappoint at the same time, the Cavaliers won 100-95

LeBron James has a full week of rest, and he was ready to test his ankle against Philadelphia and Andre Igoudala last night. Leon Powe made his debut first as a knight in the absence of Antawn Jamison. The Cavs starting lineup was rather low. MB, AP, Bron, Powe and Hickson. Although LeBron just finshed with 23 points and added 10 assists and was that the Cavs needed to win a close game that came down in Q4.

LeBron started with two assists, JJ Hickson for a soft jumper and Mo Williams for a series 3 pointer. Then they came for the Court, entered in a tray, then entered a 3 pointer. 2 minutes into the game, LeBron and has 4 points and 2 assists. JJ Hickson is a reference unit in Unreal Igoudala dunk, and stock Cavs. But Philadelphia has held its own. It took the absence of Shaquille, and led Cart and scoring in the paint. Initially, Dalembert, the mark, and scored baskets Igoudala nearby. Meanwhile, LeBron has been put on a clinic shooting. Hit 3 of each of their first 4, and kept the Cavs in the game

With just over a minute left in the 1st quarter, LeBron has become very ugly, very quickly. Reference line, jumped about 17 feet in the air, and extended jams reversibility pump. The crowd was full and everyone knew that, in the sand No one else in the world and dunk LeBron.

Philadelphia I hit 5 / 7 from three during the quarter, and Andre Igoudala had its own set of amazing friends in the clouds. The Cavs were 36-32 and that many have predicted, this game like a track meet. Both teams shot over 60%, and the defense has not been much worth mentioning.

Cavs started the 2nd quarter the cold lost his first 4 attempts. As usual, without LeBron means more or less any crime. This team needs as much as LeBron scorer and distributor. Without him the game, the offensive stagnation is endemic.

And then there was a comment Delonte West. As Austin Carr said: "Delonte West has led to the Euclid Avenue and throws the hammer down. "Samuel Dalembert tried to block this key, but halfway realized it was about to be on a poster. Delonte has been known to break some serious mate-sided at times. At the end of the first half, LeBron had 13 and 8 assists.

Mo Williams started the 2nd half with an aggressive mentality. The Cavs began a crackdown on the defensive, and LeBron has drilled un 3 with 9 minutes to go up the lead to 11 at 68-57. Mo-mo ending the quarter with 10 points and the Cavaliers were in a game very good. Cavs production decreased slightly, and the 4th quarter, we're 85-80. This team continues to come in handy. After a quick Jamario mate Mo Williams saw a 3, then hit a 3 after the right Jamario. Problem solved, we are up 88-85. The 2 points were invaluable, as captured LeBron an alley-oop that was thrown too high, passed with two hands and ended with a shock .. You kidding? And where is mounted Jamario come?

Sometimes, the Cavs just play with teams like Philadelphia, and then wait for the final minutes to seal an agreement. With 4 minutes, Mo hits another 3. Remember to block the sensation LeBron Elton Brand. This game has really made up going down to the wire, as Jamario Moon missed from 3 to 24 seconds on the clock we have a 6.

Instead, Philadelphia grabbed the rebound and called a timeout. Down 95-98, they had need a 3. Instead, he lost the ball in possession laughable. Delonte is below, few exercises of free throws, and you can almost put it in the book. Philadelphia Cleveland shows why you are not fighting for the playoffs. The first time the Cavs have spread to the 76ers regular season in 13 years. LeBron good looks, and so do the Cavaliers. We are more or less follow the example of King. You sense that if you think. LeBron James is underestimated

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Benjamin Jackson


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