That Patchwork Place

November 28, 2005 by  
Filed under Die Cutting Machines and Supplies

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I think I posted before, but there have been some revisions. Not really, it was only fun when I wrote it. Wishing Wings is a city wedged against my window, roofs, towers, a mixture of machine and the car horns connect a patchwork of brick buildings seems robust steel sewn and streams of light bouncing off a liquid in the heat. ledge of my request for another place, with the bells that never sing, a potted plant in his sulky endless search for the hills and trees, a thin band sky behind the corner of a building behind a whirlwind Fluke clouds and silver linings. I see a blaze of light bouncing off my blinds and hope for a rainbow, or the shadow crossed the side of a buiding a butterfly, a bright shade of pure blue sky like home DHT lit knew of my desires has grown and folded veins to greet me, before she found a child in his hands.

This poem is more "fun." It's nice and full of descriptive formulas thoughts.and treats.and original. You ask for comments. I think some things you can think of changing. In line 7 the first verse, which should not be "seamless"? In the last line of the first stanza, I think "of fluid in the heat" can be improved. In the second stanza, I think the hood should not "ring" on the other hand, not "sing." In the third stanza, I think "whirlwind of clouds" and "fillings Silver "are not the originals the other words. In the last stanza, I think" DHT-bed "is fun and can be better" Twilight. "Structure thinking and making the last three stanzas, and the final twist, is remarkable.,

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